Every now and then, Obama opens his eyes and the world springs into existence.
When a tree falls in the forest, Obama hears it.
Obama can clap with one hand.
Prometheus was punished for plagiarizing Obama.
Obama can make a journey of a thousand miles without a single step.
Socks worn by Obama are used for climbing walls in Spiderman movies.
Hillary Clinton dropped out of the race when she learned Obama's true name.
"Obama" is the very first word in the English language to be a verb, adjective, noun, pronoun, adverb, interjection, superlative and pronad. (Pronad is a new category made specifically for the word "Obama" so its power can be fully realized).
When Obama squints dreamily into the distance, he can see next week's lottery winning numbers. But he never plays because that would mean poverty of ambition.
Obama can calculate your guilt just by looking at the numbers in your checkbook.
A microphone into which Obama has spoken, heals asbestos-related disorders and colorectal cancer by direct application.
Every time Obama talks about change, a baby diaper becomes clean and a homeless person's cup fills up with nickels.
Every time Obama talks about "hope," coma patients regain consciousness and chant "We are the ones we've been waiting for."
Obama's famous stare once converted 15 Islamic fundamentalists into secular progressives, all of whom are currently employed by Countrywide Home Loans.
Obama is 50% typical White person.
Obama's real mother was young John Kerry who reproduces asexually when coming into contact with foreign Marxists.

Obama often says "uh" in his speeches in order to irritate Bill O'Rilley who hangs onto his every word.
Obama always overpays his taxes because he believes that the government will find a better use for his money than he ever could.

When Obama rids the world of nuclear weapons, the red button in his office will control the thermostats in American homes.

Obama brings change to the world every time he closes his eyes and imagines that Twin Towers never existed.

After a hearty meal Obama has been known to send off a tiny ripple of hope. This tiny ripple of hope in Chicago can cause change throughout the world.

When Obama relaxes at home with his family he switches to a British accent.

Obama's wife is a Klingon.

Obama's children are named Child 1 and Child 2 respectively.
Our universe is held together by the force of Michelle Obama's benevolent willpower, but her patience is running thin.
Michelle Obama has saved humanity from destruction many times and is slightly annoyed that we haven't returned the favor.
Monica Lewinsky owns "I Barack for Obama" bumper sticker.
Everything Obama touches begins to vote Democrat.
More dead people voted for Obama than for any other Democrat candidate in the history of Chicago politics.
The tingle that crawled up Chris Matthews' leg has taken control of his brain and is reporting a full preparedness to take over the world.
Obama can make things disappear just like David Copperfield can, but he hates taking things away from the community.
US Mail Service published Obama's resume on a new first class stamp.
In the movies, Obama's part is played by Robert Redford.
Obama can inflate a hot air balloon in one blow. He does it for the children.
Obama used to spell his name as Ubama but changed it to avoid confusion with Usama bin Laden.
When Obama fixes his gaze on the clouds, he is reading his next great line from the big teleprompter in the sky, which is unseen to ordinary humans.
One time the Republicans paid a voodoo priest to reprogram the teleprompter, and then Obama delivered the speech by Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick instead of his own. But courageous journalist Bob Woodward uncovered the plot, forcing the Republicans to resign. As a result, Obama became even more popular with the downtrodden who didn't know that it was Gov. Patrick's speech.
Obama wrote "Stairway to Heaven" and many other songs popular among the downtrodden.
Obama's love for the downtrodden heats up the planet's atmosphere by 5.8 degrees Fahrenheit, while his loathing of George W. Bush cools it down by the same amount. That's why the scientists have been unable to detect any significant variations in average global temperatures.
The main point of Al Gore's book "Earth in the Balance" is that a disastrous climate change can be averted if we all help keep Obama emotionally balanced.
Obama visited Benjamin Franklin in a dream and told him how to live his life serving the community, but all that Franklin could remember was, how to fly a kite.
Scientists discovered that a constant repetition of the words "hope" and "change" increases the size of penis in male patients by up to three inches.
Any sentence containing the name "Obama" and ending in a question mark has been determined to be racist. The only exceptions are rhetorical sentences such as "Is there any way that Obama could be

The CSI Field kits I looked up are excellent, Im a BIG fan of forensics but I also read that it was recalled because the print powder contains asbestos that could cause lung cancer, I thought it was just a fake lead, but I seen it on a video on youtube. Im thinking about getting one, but I wanna make sure if its true or not before I buy it, or did they fix it the fingerprinting powder to a non toxic one if its accidentally breathed in. Cause if its just in the fingerprint power I could just not use it or throw it out.
please no stupid links like the first two

I had to go upstairs into a church attic to grab some supplies. I was up there for a few minutes and there was a lot of insulation on the floors around the area that is walked on. I'm terrified of asbestos since my grandmother died of lung cancer. Was being up there a hazard?

1. That it wasn't just 4,500 people that died on 911. People are still dying. Dogs have died from the asbestos. People that haven't died have cancer. The death rate from 911 continues to go up.
2. That Silverstein got 7 billion for The Towers. People are still dying. 3. Just 3 months before the "terroists" attacks Silverstein took out Terrost Insurance on The Towers.
4. There was no insurance investigation pertaining to Silverstein. If We took out insurance on anything and 3 months later someone died you bet your bottom dollar there'd be an investigation to make sure everything was legit.
5. That Silverstein was NOT the owner of the buildings, yet he got the insurance. Shouldn't the Owners of the building got it?
6. That there are antimissle weapons that protect the White House as well as the Pentagon. That anything that would threaten those buildings would have been shot out of the sky.
6. That just because someone actus like that are Christian doesn't mean they are.
7. Iraq wasn't part of 911.
8. There was never any "Weapons of Mass Destruction" found. If there were, they would have peraded them on CNN, MSNBC, and other news channels.
9. That Halliburton get no big deals behind closed doors.
10. Rumsfed is the CEO of Halliburton.
11. There is no actual law called "Excutive Privledge". And if there is, Why isn't there one for Supervisor Privledge, or Manager Privledge or Soldier Privledge, or even Citizen Privledge?
12. That the "Terrorists" took over with nothing more than box cutters, yet our Government and FBI have a plethera of weapons at their disposal.

If ya didn’t know….
After this law was illegally passed in 1886 (Santa Clara v. Southern Pacific R.R. Co.) it has been a plague on our Democracy. Corporations can claim any Amendment, such as the 14th Amendment for discrimination rights to stop local communities from protecting their small, local businesses and keep out predatory retailers or large corporations convicted of crimes elsewhere, or claim the 1st Amendment for the right to deceive people in it’s PR (like when “Big Tobacco” wouldn’t admit cigarettes are addictive and cause cancer, and the cover up with asbestos). Even worse in 1978 (Boston v. Bellotti) by one-vote majority decision corporations were decided to be “persons”, making it legal for them to give HUGE quantities of money to political causes through the right of free speech. Thereby making the average American citizen voter (i.e. We the People) have to compete with Corporations on unequal footing. Corporations are here to serve We the People not vice-versa.
On top of this, corporations never die - they just get bigger while gaining more assets & control. These corporations have gotten so big they dominate most main media outlets, shut down local businesses with insane price undercutting (from overseas cheap labor & products, tax loopholes, etc.), keep renewable energy from being a reality, and pay the politicians that will keep that Corporation’s best interests in mind in order to keep receiving their money flow.

Only humans should have human rights in a democracy. Corporations can have the right to keep certain trade secrets and that’s it! Nor should they be allowed to influence politicians with their GIANT POCKETS thereby making the average American citizen voter (i.e. We the People) have to compete with Corporations on unequal footing. Corporations are here to serve We the People, not the other way around. I’m all for having corporations…but they are ALL answerable to We the People

The victim was 81 years old and finished a deposition with wit & Luxembourg

19yo I worked at a eatery where the basement ceiling had warning asbestos labels, but I spent about 5 hours a week in the basement for about 4 years, do you think i'll get cancer from that ?

I've heard on that one show the Doctors that baby powder is really bad for babies because of the talcum powder. What is there to use instead, or should I just not use anything? I cut this out from a website too..

Talcum powder contains a substance similar in composition to asbestos, and some studies have linked the use of talcum powder to increased incidence of ovarian cancer. Accidentally inhaling it can lead to serious respiratory problems or even death.

If there are facts that are proven by virtually all scientists, why do people deny that such facts are true?

In the medieval, Galileo Galilei had a bad time because he found out that the sun and the earth don't do what the church guys said.

In the 1970s scientits finally found out that asbestos causes lung cancer... quite a while after the year 1900 when some doctors found out the same but could not prove well enough. Of course, the industry opposed their opinion.

In the last decades we heard some news about the risks of smoking. In the USA there was a fast change, whereas in Europe science still has to face opposition, especially in politics.

Well, and when it comes to global warming, the first thing I read here in all the answers is something like "global warming is bull****, and only tree huggers believe in that nonsense..."

Why is that so?

Why do people deny scientific facts?
One more detail:

If it is, let's say, 90% of the scientists telling you that global warming is made by us, why do you insist that the other 10% are right?

I have a severe anxiety disorder where I worry every second of the day. I don't know what to do about it. My therapist won't take me until July and there are no other openings at any counseling centers in the area. I have a fear of getting lung cancer. I'm afraid to dorm at college next year because of people smoking outside of the dorm and I'm afraid to live at home because our siding has asbestos. Can someone please help me?